Having lost his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales, at the age of 12, he offers his perspective on coping with loss.The video, shot in May and released ahead of Armed Forces Day, aims to highlight the support needs of bereaved military children in the UK.
Harry spoke frankly about the misconceptions children can have after losing a loved one. He explained that it can be easy to convince oneself that prolonged sadness is necessary to prove the person is missed. He said, however, that the lost loved one would likely want the living to find happiness.
“It’s so easy as a kid to think or convince yourself….you convince yourself that the person you’ve lost wants you, or you need to be sad for as long as possible to prove to them that they are missed. But then there’s this realisation of, no, they must want me to be happy,” he said.
Prince Harry’s Afternoon with Scotty’s
Prince Harry, 39, has previously criticised what he feels was a lack of family support following his mother’s death in 1997. He believes this led him to suppress his emotions until he sought therapy. He stressed the importance of talking about loss as a way to celebrate the lives of those who have passed.
“That’s the hardest thing, especially for kids, I think, which is, ‘I don’t want to talk about it because it will make me sad, but once realising that if I do talk about it, I’m celebrating their life, then actually, things become easier’… as opposed to this ‘I’m just not going to talk about it, and that’s the best form of coping,’ when in fact it’s not. It can be for a period of time…you can’t suppress it forever. It’s not sustainable. And will eat away at you inside,” he added.
Addressing the difficulty of discussing painful topics, he noted the natural defense mechanisms that come into play. “No one wants to be in the position where they are forced to talk about the very thing they don’t want to talk about, especially when every defense mechanism in your mind, nervous system and everything else is saying ‘do not go there’,” he said.
The video features a conversation with Nikki Scott, founder of Scotty’s Little Soldiers. She recounted the heart-wrenching moment she had to tell her five-year-old son, Kai, that his father, Cpl Lee Scott, had been killed in Afghanistan in 2009. At the time, she also had a seven-month-old daughter, Brooke.
The charity released the video to draw attention to the ongoing needs of bereaved military children. Scott was inspired to create Scotty’s Little Soldiers after witnessing the positive effects a family holiday had on her grieving son.
BBC News Feature on Event with Prince Harry
Expressing his admiration for Scott’s work, Harry said, “What you’ve done is incredible. It is truly inspirational. I’m really honored and privileged to be part of Scotty’s now and I really look forward to us doing everything we can to bring in more people, more interest, raise more funds and be able to get the message out there to get more kids the support they so desperately need.”
Scotty’s Little Soldiers currently supports over 680 members and estimates that each year 2,100 children are newly bereaved of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces. The charity’s mission is to ensure these children receive the emotional support they need to cope with their loss and lead fulfilling lives.
The video aims to help children understand that expressing their feelings is a vital part of healing. Through this initiative, Prince Harry hopes to bring attention to the importance of open conversations about grief and loss.
